Hi, everyone.
Well, as the note said, despite the intention to skip the December newsletter, some possibly demented readers asked for at least a few puns to tide them over until the new year. As long as we are doing that, I thought it might also be appropriate to reprise a few of David Letterman’s Top Ten Elf Pickup Lines.
TRULY AWFUL HOLIDAY PUNS:
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Remember not to leave a fire burning in your fireplace this Christmas Eve, or else you might wake up to a Crisp Kringle.
Three Communist reindeer -- Rudolf, Boris, and Boris's wife Natasha - were running through the Siberian forest when Rudolf and Boris got into an argument about whether they were being pelted with rain or sleet. Rudolf said it was rain. Boris insisted it was sleet. To Boris's surprise, Natasha agreed with Rudolph. When Boris asked her why, she replied "Because Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."
Some top ten Elf Pickup Lines:
I can get you off the Naughty List.
Just because I have bells on my shoes doesn’t mean I’m a sissy.
I have certain needs that can’t be satisfied by working on toys.
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Thanks to everyone for your continued interest in the website. I hope these few lines will bring a smile to start this very special time of year. Best wishes, always,
Tom
Note: The Doomsday 3.0 short story is at the Spank the Carp website. Go to the Pond 72 section near the top. The listing under it includes the name of stories in this month’s magazine. Click on the Doomsday 3.0 title. Hope you will enjoy it.
Well, as the note said, despite the intention to skip the December newsletter, some possibly demented readers asked for at least a few puns to tide them over until the new year. As long as we are doing that, I thought it might also be appropriate to reprise a few of David Letterman’s Top Ten Elf Pickup Lines.
TRULY AWFUL HOLIDAY PUNS:
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Remember not to leave a fire burning in your fireplace this Christmas Eve, or else you might wake up to a Crisp Kringle.
Three Communist reindeer -- Rudolf, Boris, and Boris's wife Natasha - were running through the Siberian forest when Rudolf and Boris got into an argument about whether they were being pelted with rain or sleet. Rudolf said it was rain. Boris insisted it was sleet. To Boris's surprise, Natasha agreed with Rudolph. When Boris asked her why, she replied "Because Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."
Some top ten Elf Pickup Lines:
I can get you off the Naughty List.
Just because I have bells on my shoes doesn’t mean I’m a sissy.
I have certain needs that can’t be satisfied by working on toys.
/////
Thanks to everyone for your continued interest in the website. I hope these few lines will bring a smile to start this very special time of year. Best wishes, always,
Tom
Note: The Doomsday 3.0 short story is at the Spank the Carp website. Go to the Pond 72 section near the top. The listing under it includes the name of stories in this month’s magazine. Click on the Doomsday 3.0 title. Hope you will enjoy it.
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