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August 2026

7/31/2026

Happy August, everyone.

This summer seems to be zipping by at warp speed (see Star Trek for mph perspective). Warp speed is even faster than traffic on the autobahn or the drag races that occur so frequently on Lincoln’s main street.😊. Here’s the usual take on August: it is a bad news/good news situation. The bad news is that it almost always brings hot weather to a place that is currently already baking and in desperate need of water. (There seems to be no middle ground in the weather situation across the country this year. The pictures of homes being swept away by violent flooding and torrential rains in the Southeast are heart-rending – as is the damage from recent tornados and the persistent issues with smoke and unchecked fires in so many areas across the nation. The list seems to go on and on.)

The good news is that August brings us one month closer to what (in Nebraska) is one of the very best times of year. Indian summer holds the promise of lower temperatures and (later on), cool, crisp days and evenings with just the right “bite” in the air. I’m ready for it.

I will begin this epistle with some words of thanks to those who over the years have taken portions of their day to read the website. I appreciate that very much, particularly so as it comes at a time when the act of reading may be a steadily decreasing activity. The August edition of The Atlantic magazine cites a National Endowment for the Arts study indicating that fewer than half of all adult Americans had read a book of any kind during the course of the year the survey was conducted (2022). Only 38 percent had read a novel or a short story during the past year. The proportion of Americans who read for pleasure on any given day dropped from 28 percent in 2004 to 16 percent in 2025.

Only two percent of American adults read to their children on any given day. The percentage of 13-year-olds who said they rarely or never read for fun increased from 8 in 1984 to 29 percent in 2025. And so the list goes on.

The article “The Age of Reading is Over” discusses the implications. Although Americans are bombarded with emails, texts, X posts, etc., etc, -- and probably read/see more words than ever before – the information is mostly shallow and fragmented. These short, often superficial blurbs may disrupt abilities to synthesize and comprehend longer or more complex material.

I look forward to getting the thoughts of my school teacher daughter about all this. It comes at a time when many schools are still struggling to recover from the COVID-era disruptions.

At any rate: THANKS TO ALL WHO CONTINUE TO DIAL IN TO THE WEBSITE. I will try hard to make it worth your time.

Writing news:

Item 1. Short stories. Hopefully, in the days ahead I’ll be able to go full time on identifying possible publishers for a potential book of short stories. We were off-line for a time in July as we took steps to address an attempted hack. We caught it before any damage was done (other than the hassle of changing credit cards, pass codes, etc.). But, as a further precaution, we took our computer in for a scrub to make sure it was bug-free. Then, just as we got it back, we encountered yet another disruption as new cables were being installed in the area which again caused us to be shut down for a short time. Hopefully, we now have those problems mostly behind us.

The number of companies that focus on publishing books of short stories is not as extensive as the ‘standard’ outlets for traditional fiction and non-fiction works. But, hopefully, we can find one or two that might be interested, or perhaps one of the ‘standard’ companies that include short story compilations as part of their repertoire.

Item 2. Chapbook. Chapbooks are small books of poetry, printed most often by independent companies often on a shared cost arrangement. I have promised a couple of book retailers and gift shops that I would try to put together a volume. I have not yet selected the poems that might be included – or checked to see if I have a sufficient number to fill a booklet. Several months ago I did a quick scrub of companies involved in the chapbook business. I’ll need to do a doublecheck on all of the above – poems as well as publishers – before making any serious queries.

Item 3. “Pomes.” I think I have previously mentioned a possible small bit of insanity titled “Pomes that Reely Rime: Strong, Virile (Short) Verses Not that Wussy, Touchy Feely Stuff Like You Get at Poetry Readings.” Quite possibly, “Pomes” does everything wrong in the eyes of the publishing world: it intermixes a short story with poetry; it may be too short to warrant serious consideration, etc. etc.

The ‘author’ of pomes (B.S. Wormburp) has ricocheted through life with a blissful arrogance, minimally aware of the chaos left strewn in has wake, convinced that he has invented a revolutionary new form of poetry (really just three- or four-line couplets with ridiculous titles).

Samples follow:

In the chapter titled “The Lessons of History”

Three Years at Sea: A Mini-Thesis on Factors Influencing the Outcome of Magellan’s Voyage

The thing that made palatable the voyage of Magellan
Was that the ship had a cabin boy
Whose real name was Helen

In the chapter titled “Athletics”

A Discourse on Popular Taste and Violence in Intercollegiate Athletics

The crowd at Mammoth Stadium sat warmly captivated
By the rolling head of the quarterback
Who had been sacked and decapitated.

Okay, okay, I know at this point you are probably asking yourself: “How could works of such incredible insight and brilliance possibly be overlooked by any reasonably sober and qualified editor of a reputable company?” The answer to your question is: “Well, we’ll see.”

And now, for that widely disparaged – often near-riot inducing – feature, TRULY AWFUL PUNS

Father Hamburger and Mother Hamburger have a baby.
It’s a girl. What do they call her? … (wait for it)
Patty

Finally, to conclude with a statement appropriate to the present time:

“If God meant for us to have elections, why didn’t He give us candidates?”

/////

Stay cool and have a great August,
Tom

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July 2026

6/30/2026

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Welcome to July. Brief writing-related news will follow later in the newsletter. First though, thanks to those who inquired about the trip and/or expressed concern about heat wave that is currently disrupting life in Europe. As it turns out, we left just in time. The “heat dome” that is causing such havoc on the continent was moving in as we were leaving. Our last full day (spent mostly in Nuremburg, Germany) was very warm and uncomfortable but the rest of the journey was generally pleasant. That was very fortunate because much of the time off the boat was spent on walking tours (I’ll spare the travelogue details) at the various locations: Basel, Freiberg, Colmar, Strasbourg, Baden Baden, Frankfurt, Marheidenfeld, Lorh am Main, Wurzburg, and Nuremberg.

At Baden Baden, I will simply note that we passed up the opportunity to bathe at a nude spa. (Perhaps on a later trip.) Quick comments on four especially unique aspects of the tour… Strasbourg: There is an island in the middle of the city. The island is the home of the European Parliament and the agencies associated with it. The structures are essentially made of glass. They are among the world’s most beautiful buildings. Frankfurt: we visited the I.G. Farben building that for many years after WWII served essentially as a European version of the Pentagon for U.S. forces on the continent. One of my military acquaintances once worked there. Lohr am Main was a special surprise – lots of fun. It is the scene of several Grimm Brothers fairy tales including Snow White, the Seven Dwarves, “mirror, mirror on the wall.” Nita and I had our picture taken with Snow White in front of the castle associated with that story (she did not mistake me for Prince Charming although perhaps that was because I had on my Nebraska baseball cap). We walked by the house associated with the Seven Dwarves (seven very small doors at ground level). The famous mirror is mounted on the side of a building so anyone can inquire about “who’s the fairest of the all.” (Nita and I decided not to risk it.) Nuremburg: we went to the courtroom where the war crimes tribunals were held following World War II. There have been a few alterations to the room since our previous visit there several years ago and the program now includes a 10-15 minute documentary. Amal Clooney, an international human rights attorney (and George Clooney’s wife), appears a couple of times in the program.

In the previous newsletter, I mentioned I was working through a book titled Presidents of War. The book looks at how throughout our history, various presidents have responded when confronted with circumstances that might lead to conflict. Interestingly, during our 250 years, the only president who has really backed away from a conflict was Thomas Jefferson. Confronted by instances of British impressment of American sailors (taking American sailors who they regarded as British citizens), Jefferson chose not to wage war. By most accounts, he was correct in doing so – at the time the U.S. had essentially no navy and only a miniscule army aided by small numbers of mostly untrained militia. When confronted a few years later in 1812 by many of the same circumstances, Madison chose to fight. The U.S. was still painfully unprepared and emerged three years later (during which the British burned the White House) with essentially a draw in which neither side could claim victory. President Polk orchestrated the events that led to the annexation of Texas and the war with Mexico. Lincoln’s initial steps in the complicated days leading up to the Civil War and during its initial stages were cautious and uncertain. As the war continued, he grew into a giant of a president. McKinley recognized that cause of the explosion that sank the U.S.S. Maine was ambiguous, but was urged into the war with Spain by popular opinion, general congressional support, and at times overwrought headlines in major U.S. papers. Wilson was also a reluctant warrior, but guided the nation through WWI with success only to mishandle the post war effort to bring the U.S. into the newly established League of Nations. Roosevelt carried an enormous load with general success although his prewar preparations were complicated by popular and congressional sentiments favoring neutrality. Truman reacted quickly and well to the North Korean invasion and was willing to settle for a negotiated truce rather than risk a wider war. Johnson and Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara knew that the Gulf of Tonkin incident that spurred U.S. involvement in Vietnam was problematical at best – and on occasion, McNamara lied to Congress about it.

The comments that follow are outside the book. Please indulge my farm boy opinion which is that perhaps the President who handled the buildup, resulting conflict, and aftermath of a struggle best among the presidents was George H.W. Bush. When Iraq invaded and occupied Kuwait, Bush orchestrated an international coalition, got congressional approval, and made the case to the American public. He even overrode the initial war plan and transferred an entire U.S. Army Corps (that was in the process of being sent back from Germany to the States as the Cold War was drawing down) to supplement the U.S. and allied forces already “in theater.” If, as happened, Saddam Hussein did not agree to evacuate Kuwait, that action helped assure as much as possible that the power of the strike force would be overwhelming and the conflict would be of short duration.

Bush also did two other very interesting things. First, he got the surrounding Arab states (wary that Saddam might strike additional countries and concerned that Iraq might control a quarter of the planet’s petroleum reserves) to essentially pay for the war. Which, along with contributions from nations like Japan, they did. Second, he did not exceed the UN mandate – which was to liberate Kuwait. Though pressured by many to extend the scope of the war and bring down the Iraqi regime, he chose not to do so. There would be no “mission creep” as ambiguous conflict environments such as the Gulf of Hormuz, often threaten.

Sorry, that segment turned out to be much longer than I anticipated. Please accept my apologies. I worry, though, that current events in the Middle East could easily become unraveled.

With all that is going on in that part of the world, I thought it might be useful to pick up an interesting book titled Jerusalem: The Biography – A History of the Middle East. It’s a heck of a book; I’m still wading through it -- 800 pages of well written but very detailed material (the index is 60 pages) that traces Jerusalem’s story from the days of David to the present day Palestinian-Israeli conflict. More to follow in the days ahead. I might be finished with it by Labor Day! 😊

Now for a bit – a very small bit – of writing news. We left off the last newsletter with the mention of beginning the process to seek outlets for potential books of short stories and poems (called chapbooks). Now that our travels are done for a while, I’m about ready to resume that task (not my favorite part of writing). I’ve also been fiddling with a very small book of absolute nonsense that combines a tiny short story intermeshed with three- or four- line verses (labeled ‘pomes’ by the book’s pseudo ‘author’ (B.S. Wormburp) who claims to have invented a new genre of poetry). The tentative title would be something like Pomes that Reely Rime: Strong, Virile (Short) Verses – Not that Wussy, Touchy Feely Stuff Like You Get at Poetry Readings.

At the moment, I don’t really have a clue about how or where to market something like that. It combines a short story with poems (of a sort) which is kind of a no-no with most publishers -- and it may not be long enough to satisfy the requirements of many companies. So … it may never see the light of day. I’ll look at it again after my European clock (seven hours ahead) fully readjusts to Nebraska time.

And now, that absolutely of no consequence portion of the website: TRULY AWFUL PUNS.

Dad, are we pyromaniacs?
Yes, we arson.

What happens when the fog lifts in Southern California?
UCLA.

I’m reading a book on anti-gravity
I can’t put it down.

////

Have a great July – and an especially memorable 250th birthday on the 4th.

Tom

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May 2026

5/1/2026

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Hi, everyone. Well, 2026 is speeding by – it hardly seems it should be May already.

Let’s begin this episode with a wildlife update. I don’t intend to turn this website into an Outdoor Life, Outside, or Field and Stream magazine, but I thought you might enjoy a brief fox-related note. The news is that several times in early- to mid-April, we had fox sightings in an open area that adjoins our house. I had to ‘google up’ the question: “what is a group of foxes called?” The answer: a ‘skulk.’ That’s a new one on me. I would have been content to call it a ‘pack’ or something generic. But, I knew the sophisticated readers of this site 😊 demand accuracy, so I will report that the largest ‘skulk’ we saw consisted of two adults and four kits. Beautiful creatures, but the neighborhood squirrel population has taken casualties and a cat who lives a few houses west of us escaped with its life thanks to the intervention of a neighbor who saw the action taking place. We haven’t seen any for several days and it appears that the family (or families) may have relocated. The kits were growing quickly and perhaps it was time for all of them to move on.

If so, the timing was appropriate. The den they created is a large one built beneath a well-used sidewalk. The den extends below the walkway – and probably undermines it – for a considerable distance. The neighborhood association is getting bids on excavating the area and replacing the sidewalk. The liability issue if the sidewalk collapses and someone gets injured is too daunting to take a chance with. Unlike the federal government, our treasury cannot routinely borrow money – and check this: (also unlike the federal government) we actually have a budget.

Just a bit of writing news. I’ve been fiddling for a while with a bit of ridiculous whimsey which will probably wind up being called Eulogy for Rufus Ledbetter. It’s about an interesting individual whose life is replete with unusual events, schemes, and mishaps. Among other things, he has severe gastric distress which sometimes manifests itself during church services; the love of his life dies of exhaustion on the honeymoon; and his many seemingly good ideas – like placing a powder charge in the toe of a football shoe to increase the distance kicks travel in college and professional football games; supplementing communion wafers with a salad bar, and others, never quite seem to pan out.

An iconic ezine titled Spank the Carp has published some of my stuff in the past. Unless a better idea comes along, at the moment my thought is to send the story to them first. Then later, and ultimately, possibly include it in the book of short stories that may someday come along.

In an earlier newsletter, I mentioned a book titled Presidents of War. I had intended to talk about it in a little more detail, but to prevent this note from growing too much, but I think I will defer that longer conversation until a latter time. It is a timely book that takes readers from James Madison and the War of 1812 to Lyndon Johnson and Vietnam and describes their struggles with Congress, the courts, the press, their own advisors, protesters and others. The physical and emotional pressures that weighed upon them were enormous. An item of particular interest: how far our nation has traveled from the time the Founding Fathers tried to restrain presidential power to the present day when a single leader has the potential to launch a nuclear strike that can destroy much of the human race.

So here’s the plan for that discussion. If all goes well, next month the family is going to partake of another European journey. The book is well worth a second read; it will be among my nighttime readings on the trip – and I can jot down a few notes for the next newsletter. Which, by the way, will be in July.

For those of you who have been paying attention, that is the big news: THERE WILL BE NO JUNE NEWSLETTER. Again, please hold down the applause. Once again the shouts of joy from the neighbors who heard the news woke up the cat and caused a FedEx driver to drop the package of Noritake China he was carrying up the sidewalk.

Have a great summer.

TRULY AWFUL PUNS

A pun/gag from my daughter:

This year marks the fortieth anniversary of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster. I can count the number of times I’ve been there on the fingers of one hand …it’s fourteen.

ONE OF THE BEST THINGS EVER SAID

Buy the shoes.
There’s no point in being the richest person in the cemetery.

/////

Best wishes, always
Tom

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April 2026

3/31/2026

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Best wishes to all for a very happy April.

You may recall that the March newsletter began with the report of a rare (and fortunately very small) earthquake. We’ll start the April epistle with a totally different but equally as unusual and fascinating experience. When Nita and I came down for breakfast last week, we found we had company on our patio. A large fox was also enjoying breakfast – perhaps peanuts, fruit, seeds, and berries of some kind from a platform bird feeder that sits on the low wall that surrounds the patio. The fox was not intimidated and stayed for several minutes, although we were visible through the large glass doors. Nita took several very good pictures which quickly made the rounds of our neighborhood. The cat also took special interest. She is rarely quiet. This time, though, after an initial low growl, she was totally silent, staring through the glass door like a bird dog pointing out prey. Unlike most mornings she was not at all interested in wandering around outside close to the house for a few minutes. We have received no further visits since that one – although that’s the first thing we check every morning.

A bit of writing news: as mentioned in the reminder note for this month’s update, for no good reason, (I was left unattended for a short time – that almost always creates problems) I’ve been fiddling with something different – sort of a hybrid humorous brief short story interspersed with ridiculous three- or four-lines verses, all with outlandish titles. We’ll see what happens. I sent three or four in to prospective publishers just to sample the waters. As is the case most times, it will likely be three/six/nine months before I get a return response. I suspect that the “hybrid” nature of the piece will cause it to swim upstream. Most publishers feel more comfortable and find it easier to market works that are “pure” narrative stories or poetry.

At the risk of repeating parts of the reminder note, here is a sample of Pomes that Reely Rime: Profound , Short (Virile) Verses – Not like that Wussy, Touchy-Feely Stuff You Get at Poetry Readings.

A Discourse on Popular Taste and Violence in Intercollegiate Athletics

The crowd at Mammoth Stadium sat warmly captivated
By the rolling head of the quarterback
Who had been sacked and decapitated

At present there are 107 of these “pomes” – all with the same incredibly poignant language and piercing insights. 😊

The ‘author,’ Brittlehorn Skipwell (B.S.) Wormburp has an ambiguous and somewhat checkered past, (in addition to delusions of grandeur). He claims that the “pomes” are a new form of poetry, created in response to the abundance of unrhymed poetry prevalent in today’s publications. The first “pomes” attract a cult following and a subsequent “test the waters” tour provokes rioting at several locations. Other problems abound as well. Then – just as his magnum opus is released -- Wormburp disappears, perhaps a step ahead of creditors and the law. Though rumors abound, he has not been heard of since, although clues persist regarding his whereabouts and suggest that he may intend to resume his writing at some point in the future. As I said, we’ll see what happens.

In the reminder note, I mentioned two books that some readers may find interesting. The books are Nuclear War and Presidents at War.

Nuclear War is an interesting, very sobering look at nuclear combat. It is sobering for many reasons: descriptions of how truly catastrophic such a war would be, how compressed the decision times are, how easily events can be misinterpreted leading towards a “use them or lose them” quandary for decision makers who have very little time to sort things out. President Reagan mentioned a space of about six minutes to reach a decision. Few decision-makers have any “practice” or understanding of the circumstances and consequences. All of them should read Nuclear War.

The book traces a launch of one land- based weapon (multiple warheads) by North Korea against the targets in the U.S – Pentagon, White House, underground headquarters such as that at Strategic Air Command, Cheyenne Mountain, etc. What follows explains rather well the events that perhaps inexorably draw other nations into the war. For example, part of the U.S. retaliation against North Korea requires some missiles to overfly parts of Russian airspace. In the absence of adequate communication, the Russians assume these dozens of missiles are aimed at them and respond accordingly. Eventually, plausible circumstances – deaths from fallout in nearby nations, overflights of missiles, etc., draw other alliances and nuclear powers into the conflict. Essentially, in little more than an hour much of the world as we know it would cease to exist, much of it for decades, if not millennia, to come.

I considered including a brief summary to illustrate the scope of the devastation the war would cause. But, after re-reading a portion of it, I decided against it. It would profane too much of the glory of an otherwise beautiful spring day.

Presidents of War is also a very informative book. Assuming I can remember to do so, I’ll save some comments on it until next time. Interestingly, only one President, Thomas Jefferson, backed away from a potential conflict where American rights were questioned. All the rest engaged our country in war; one, James Polk, actively incited it. The lessons from each in terms of communications, interpretations of events, ambiguous circumstances, preparations, etc., have lessons for the present day.

A TRULY AWFUL PUN

Better to have loved and lost a short person
than never to have loved a tall.

FROM 1,911 BEST THINGS ANYBODY EVER SAID

Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse. (Arthur Baer)

Have a great April, everyone. Baseball is here again, so I am pretty sure things will get better.

Best wishes, always
Tom

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March 2026

3/2/2026

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Hi, everyone,

Well, as this is being written (Sunday, March 1) it has already been a most unusual day in Lincoln. About two hours ago – officially 12:59 pm – a 4.1 earthquake rattled Cowels, Nebraska, 137 miles west and a bit south of here. I felt it mildly for a moment as I was working on the computer. Other parts of Lincoln reported dishes rattling in cupboards, etc. Apparently, no damage in the city.

Strange things are happening, though – as I’ve mentioned before -- with all that that is going on with climate change, I’m pretty sure that eventually Nebraska will eventually be beach front property 😊

Today’s episode marks our immediate family’s third acquaintance with an earthquake. One was serious, the other mostly humorous. The one that got our attention most took place when we were stationed at Vicenza, Italy. I was reading a bedtime story to Karen, six-years old at the time. We were stretched out on a couch in the living room. As we looked up from the book, the chandelier in the room was swaying in wide arcs back and forth. As it turned out, there was very little damage to Vicenza. Further south, towards the heel of the Italian boot, in places the results were catastrophic My unit and others close by did fund raising and clothing drives to assist. Among the worst hit was a town named Piacenza –which, to our families back in the States sounded a lot like ‘Vicenza,’ and thus worried them considerably until we could make contact (letters took about a week each direction).

The humorous part of our earthquake history occurred at Scott AFB. My mom loved to tell the story and join in the laughter and teasing that followed. We had recently brought our new born daughter Laura home to the trailer house we lived in on the base. Mom was visiting to help with the baby. A few days after she arrived, as we were preparing to go into town, mom felt it necessary to dress up a bit. As she told the story, she was near TV set, standing on one foot putting on her girdle when the quake struck. The trailer was rocking back and forth and with her on one foot, she had to grab hold of the nearest object and “dance” to keep from falling over. Fortunately, the TV set was close at hand and stable enough to keep her upright until the commotion ended. She couldn’t tell the story without cracking up.

Nita experienced several quakes during her dad’s two tours at Clark AB in the Philippines. Mount Pinatubo, the volcano that erupted in 1991, was visible from the base.

Just a bit of writing news to keep those who might be interested in the loop. As I’ve mentioned before, we are in the baby step stages of two potential projects. One is an as yet unnamed short story collection. I think the story selections are just about firmed up, but the hardest task still remains – identifying publishers who might wish to consider foisting it on the world. The second is a small book of humor. This one is a bit further along. It is tentatively titled “Pomes that Reely Rime: Profound, Virile (Short) Verses, Not That Wussy, Touchy-Feely Stuff Like You Get at Poetry Readings.” There will be more info about it in future editions. I’ll try to keep everyone updated.

I’m wrapping up this note early Monday, March 2. The headlines cover the burgeoning war with Iran; U.S. casualties, and three F-15s shot down by friendly fire. When I began this website years ago, I made a promise to myself to focus on writing and not to attempt use it as a political forum. I won’t break that promise this morning. Like most others, particularly those who have been touched by conflict even in a small way, I hope that it is over soon and that all who are in harm’s way return safely to their homes and families. The most difficult duty I ever performed was having to knock on the door of a very nice family at two thirty in the morning and tell them that their son would not be coming home. Decades later, I still think of that young man – as I’m sure his family does – what would he have turned out to be? What kind of life would he have led? I have since come to think that before any leader commits America’s sons and daughters to combat, he/she ought first to have made a journey as I did on the cold, sad, darkness of the early morning.

Please excuse the absence of puns this morning.

Best wishes to all,

Tom

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February 2026

2/1/2026

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To all my fellow Eskimos –good morning.

We awakened in Lincoln this morning (Jan 31) to wind chills below zero. Now, (11:00am) the ambient air temperature has climbed to zero. One of my favorite uncles would have said that it is “colder than a well digger’s belt buckle in Alaska.” (Although on particularly nasty days an anatomical part – a derriere (although that was not the word he inserted) – would have been used to describe the item that gets frozen. Anyway, you get the picture. It is really cold.

Two nights ago, PBS News reported on the broad sweep and severity of the storm that encompasses half the geographic area of the United States and – incredibly – more than half the population of the country. The weather report said that perhaps even places like Orlando and Miami might receive traces of snow. Our thoughts particularly go out to our friends in the South and Southeast who aren’t accustomed to the blizzards, icy roads, snow plows, power outages and low temperatures that sometimes accompany this type of storm.

We have a story in our family that reminds us – and, with a smile, still causes us to worry – about the inexperience and lack of preparations that sometimes confront those from parts of our country that normally aren’t troubled with weather such as this. Many years ago, when we were stationed at Offutt AFB, near Omaha, Nebraska, Nita’s mom and dad, who lived deep in southern Florida near Miami, came to spend the Christmas – New Year’s holidays with us. We picked them up at the airport on a cold, cold day in December. Nita’s dad came off the airplane prepared to cope with the south Florida version of really cold weather – he wore a long-sleeved shirt with flannel lining. We bundled him quickly out to the car then stopped at the first Shopko we saw to buy him a coat. (We also never let him live it down.)

Well, so much for the meteorological discussion: you can’t live in Nebraska without talking about the weather …

There’s not a lot of news directly related to writing to talk about. As I’ve mentioned before, those who in recent days have come across the short story Doomsday 3.0 (“Spank the Carp”, e-zine Dec 2022 issue) or the fiction novel The YouTube Candidate have commented on events described in those works that in some – or many – ways, are similar to current happenstances in our country. Doomsday 3.0 describes a nation tearing itself apart and the extreme, last-ditch actions taken in an attempt to stop the bleeding and begin the process of restoration. The YouTube Candidate takes us though a divisive presidential campaign, the emergence of a new party with innovative ideas, and the constitutional crisis that results when no candidate receives an electoral college majority. There is also an assassination attempt, an influential debate, and other foreshadowings of events that are in today’s headlines. Readers seem to have found it interesting/instructive during the 2024 campaign and, with the mid-term elections coming up this fall, I am beginning to get more than the usual number of queries about it. The challenge, as always, is to get the word out to potential readers who might also find it interesting. We’ll try to do some prep work arrangements with book stores. If you have read the book and, hopefully, enjoyed it, your assistance – personal contacts, social media, etc. – would be most important of all. Thanks, as always. Also as always, I’’ll treat for the coffee and cinnamon rolls.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT:

This is a one-time dispensation from the TRULY AWFUL PUNS feature. For readers – especially “those of a certain age” -- who enjoyed the artists and music of the ‘50s and early ‘60s, the news flash below provides the exciting news that “ARTISTS FROM THAT ERA ARE REVISING THEIR HITS WITH NEW LYRICS TO ACCOMMODATE BABY BOOMERS.

Enjoy:

Herman’s Hermits – “Mrs. Brown You’ve Got a Lovely Walker.”
The Bee Gees – “How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.”
Bobby Darin – “Splish Splash I Was Having a Flash”
Ringo Starr – “I’ll Get By With the Help of Depends”
The Commodores – “One, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom”
Marvin Gaye – “Heard it from the Grape Nuts”
Leo Sayer – “You Make Me Feel Like Napping”
Willy Nelson – “On the Commode Again”
Johnny Nash – “I Can’t See Clearly Now”
Helen Reddy – “I Am Woman Hear Me Snore”
Abba – “Denture Queen”

/////

Stay safe and warm.

Best wishes to all,
Tom

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January 2026

12/30/2025

1 Comment

On December 29, we awakened to a wind chill temperature of -4 degrees accompanied by ice on the roads. Occasions like that provide a really good justification for an extra cup of coffee and maybe a cinnamon roll to ward off the cold. I’m pretty sure I read someplace (I don’t recall the specific reference) that coffee, donuts, and cinnamon rolls are at long last being recognized as especially significant major food groups. They are thought to be of special importance

during periods of bad weather (too cold, or too hot – it really doesn’t matter);

even when a person is afflicted with the mere thought of inclement conditions;

in reversing the trend when events in life seem to be going bad;

in sustaining the momentum when things are really going well;

in adding a special touch to the celebration of notable victories (p.s. Go Big Red);

in overcoming the agony of otherwise unbearable losses. (I mean, how many times have all of us thought “how could they possibly have blown that game?”)

I’ve somehow lost track of where I read about those connections or the name of the scientist who identified them. Clearly, though, I would think a Nobel Prize should certainly be a consideration.
For sure, the importance of the theory justifies a title of some kind being given to it – maybe ‘The Theory of Relatively Important Stuff.’ Your suggestions are welcomed.

There’s not a lot of writing news to scribble about in this edition. As I mentioned before, my goal when I started all of this was to write about America’s forgotten military leaders and identify those in each of the nation’s conflicts whose contributions have somehow been overlooked. Later, I added “writing a fiction novel” to that list. Those things have now been done. I am probably running out of daylight in terms of writing another full-length novel or history. We’ll see where the path may lead us next. Possibly some short stories will keep me entertained and out of trouble.

Change of subject: As I hope many did, I watched Ken Burns’ six-part documentary “The American Revolution,” on PBS. When it ended, I re-read “Rise to Rebellion,” a 2001 book by Jeff Shaara. (Jeff is the son of Michael Shaara who wrote “The Killer Angels,” the Pulitzer Prize-winning novel about Gettysburg). Jeff Shaara picked up on his father’s work and also wrote a series of books about the American Revolution, several on the Civil War, and others on the Mexican-American War, World War I, World War II, and the Korean War.

“Rise to Rebellion” covers the very early days – the events preceding the conflict, the initial exchange of shots at Lexington and Concord, and the two Continental Congresses. The second congress, which led to the appointment of Washington as military commander and the drafting of the Declaration of Independence, was especially interesting. I particularly enjoyed the discussion regarding the drafting of the Declaration of Independence. The committee consisted of Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, John Adams, Roger Sherman, and Robert Livingston. Jefferson, of course, was the primary author and did all of the original draft. Franklin and Adams contributed in important ways – not in terms of major revisions but with inciteful word changes to an already marvelously written document. The alteration that intrigued me most was the change to Jefferson’s original text that read “We hold these truths to be sacred and undeniable.” Franklin changed that to simply read: “We hold these truths to be self-evident.” What comes next, of course, is “that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights …” Wonderful words, wonderfully done.

One of the things I found most interesting was the consequential part that John Adams played during the course of the Congress and the decision to declare independence. There was a group of “fire eaters”—Sam Adams, John Hancock, Patrick Henry, and others – whose actions and words more often placed them in the spotlight. It was, however, John Adams’ much quieter eloquence, abetted by his scholarly, legal background, that other members of the Congress drew upon time and time again to defend against opposition views and sustain the movement toward independence. Throughout the time the Congress met, there was a group of representatives who were reluctant to sever the tie with Britain and almost to the very end, continued to seek some accommodation with the King and officials in the British Parliament. Members of the Congress realized that to have real impact, a declaration declaring American independence would have to achieved by unanimous vote. To a degree that I had not appreciated, it was John Adams who helped move them towards that goal. Benjamin Franklin regarded Adams as being the most eloquent of all the notables who were in Philadelphia for that seminal event in American history.

Before closing this first newsletter of 2026, please accept my best wishes to all for a very happy New Year, and my special thanks to readers of the site – your notes, comments, and good tidings during the past year were (and always will be) most sincerely appreciated.

/////

And now: A TRULY AWFUL PUN followed by one of the BEST THINGS ANYBODY EVER SAID.

For my course in meteorology, I have to write essays on the destructive power of hurricanes and tornadoes. They’re just drafts now.

“Studying literature at Harvard is like learning about women at the Mayo Clinic.”
Roy Blount, Jr.

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Have a great 2026, everyone.
Tom

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December 2025

11/26/2025

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Happy holidays, everyone

As promised, as judged by a panel of international experts (almost all of whom are now free on bail), the following puns that appeared each month in either the newsletter or the cover note, were rated as favorites during the past year.

January: (This was a rare month in which all puns drew kudos)

Once upon a time in a faraway land, there was a king who was only 12 inches tall. He was a very poor king, but an excellent ruler.

Two antennae got married. The ceremony was just okay, but the reception was excellent.

Why did Little Miss Muffet have a GPS in her tuffet? She kept losing her whey.

February:

(A bit of a different entry – there was a “pun-ish” type verse titled
“The Division of Labor at the Lone Ranger’s Campsite.”)

With the Lone Ranger’s hemorrhoids inflamed and sorely aching
Tonto chased the bad guys
While the Ranger did the baking.

March:

Why can’t you hear anything when a pterodactyl uses the restroom?
Because the ‘p’ is silent.

Studies show that cows produce more when the farmer talks to them.
It is the case of in one ear and out the udder.

April:

Two slices of bread got married. The ceremony was going quite well until someone decided to toast the bride and groom.

The doctor gave the patient some anti-gloating cream. Now all he wants to do is rub it in.

May:

Two chickens went on a safari. What is the proper name for a trip of that nature? An eggsspedition.

NASA launched several cows into space. It became known as the herd shot around the world.

What do you call two birds stuck together? Velcrows.

June:

There was no newsletter this month. Among other places, we spent time in Iceland attempting to learn to speak Icelandic. We failed. (But that was okay, because everyone we met spoke English better than we did.)

July:

What do you call James Bond taking a bath? Bubble 007.

A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks the bartender “is this stool taken?”

A hispanic magician told his audience that he would disappear at the count of three. He said “uno, dos,” then poof, he vanished without a “tres.”

Where do bad rainbows go? To prisms … it’s a light sentence but it gives them time to reflect.

August:

A Frenchman named Lautrec opened a women’s clothing store. He was new to the trade and mistakenly ordered blouses only in the size XXX Large. The first customer who tried one on immediately told him “It’s too loose, Lautrec.”

You should avoid using “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.

September:

Running into a stationary object may cause damage to both the individual and the structure … according to a recent pole.

Who is in favor of bringing Roman numerals back into use? I for one.

October:

As we were rushing my injured friend to the hospital, we asked her several times what her blood type was. She just kept answering “Be positive.” Even at the emergency room she kept saying “Be positive, be positive.” We were very touched that even though she was badly hurt, she was concerned about our feelings. We miss her.

November:

My wife’s birthday is coming soon. Lately I’ve been finding dozens of jewelry magazines scattered all over the living room floor. So I bought her a magazine rack.

I entered ten puns into a contest to see if one would win the grand prize. No pun in ten did.

December:

A few requests over the past years have indicated that some readers miss the David Letternan’s “Top Ten Elf Pickup Lines” we used for a time in December newsletters. To close the year, here are three of the favorite ones:

I can get you off the naughty list.
Just because I have bells on my shoes doesn’t mean I’m a sissy.
I have certain needs that can’t be satisfied by working on toys.

I hope these bring a smile to help light your way through the holiday season. Thanks and blessings to all for your interest and many gracious comments throughout the year.

Best always,
Tom

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November 2025

10/29/2025

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Hi, everyone

Best wishes for a great November and a joyous holiday season. Thanksgiving and Christmas are such delightful family days – apparently I am not going to outgrow looking forward to them. Veterans Day is special also. Thanks to all who have worn the uniforms of our country and to all who sustained them when they travelled in harm’s way, welcomed them when they came home, and loved them forever when they did not return.

Not a lot of specific writing news to report this month. As per the note notifying readers that this newsletter had been published, probably the biggest news is the notice that appeared in the Nov/Dec edition of Poets & Writers magazine regarding The YouTube Candidate novel. I am curious to see what impact that might have. The reviews were extraordinary and I am enormously grateful for them.

As also mentioned in the note, the military history Taking Command, America’s Unsung Military Leaders, Innovators, and Difference Makers since World War II, was released in the U.S. on September 2. The publishers (Stackpole Books) were exceptionally gracious to work with, so I especially hope that good things will happen with the book.

In the absence of other news, I’ll use this occasion to respond to requests from readers who have asked for a “cheat sheet” list of published items. A rundown of books is provided below. With one exception, I’ll defer for now on short stories and poems. Some of each of those were published in small magazines that have since gone by the wayside (there were lots of casualties during COVID), or are difficult to track down. Others were published as part of anthologies that are decidedly over-priced (my farm boy opinion). I’ll try to sort through the contenders and if there is enough useful information, I’ll include those in a future newsletter. (For a complete list of all books, articles, short stories, and poems click here to see the “Bookshelf” section of this website.)

The exception I’ll make is with a short story titled Doomsday 3.0 that was published in December 2022 in an iconic e-zine titled “Spank the Carp.” Quite a few readers have asked about it, commenting on their interest/concern/alarm that events in our country may be trending toward the scenario presented in the story. You can get directly to it by clicking here. (The parallels with the present day described in The YouTube Candidate novel have drawn many of the same reactions as those expressed regarding Doomsday 3.0)

BOOKS

A Pilgrim in Unholy Places: Stories of a Mustang Colonel, Heritage Press, 2004

Battlefields of Nebraska, Caxton Press, 2008

Touching All the Bases, Scarecrow Press (Rowman and Littlefield), 2012

Boots and Saddles, Military Leaders of the American West, Caxton Press, 2015

In The Shadows of Victory: America’s Forgotten Military Leaders, 1776-1876, Casemate Publishers, 2016

In the Shadows of Victory II: America’s Forgotten Military Leaders: The Spanish-American War to World War II, Casemate Publishers, 2017

Fire in the North: The Minnesota Uprising and the Sioux War in Dakota Territory, Hellgate Press 2018 (co-author)

The YouTube Candidate, Vanguard Press (Pegasus Publishing, Ltd) 2024

Taking Command: America’s Unsung Military Leaders, Innovators, and Difference Makers since World War II, Stackpole Books, (Globe Pequot Publishing Group) 2025

And now … TRULY AWFUL PUNS

What do you call horse-drawn vehicles owned by the head of the Franciscan Abbey?
Chariots of friar.

I threw my wooden shoes in the toilet.
Now they’re clogged.
** This pun was from one of my favorite daughters. Sad. As I have noted before, we have tried so very hard to raise her properly.

Best wishes, always
Tom

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October 2025

10/2/2025

1 Comment

Hi, everyone

Best wishes for the best ever fall season. For us in the Midwest, it’s most often a neat time of year. The temps here have been cooling a bit and a few trees near us are beginning to change. I’m guessing from the early reddish tinge that they are oaks or maples. (Confession: that’s not dazzling insight on my part – I’m looking at a “cheat sheet” that was in this morning’s newspaper.) Here’s a takeaway for you. The newspaper says “some leaves turn red from anthocyanins, a chemical manufactured from the sugars trapped in the leaf.” I’m pretty sure you were anxious to know that so you could include that information in casual conversations with friends. So … while these newsletters likely tell you almost nothing about writing, now you know practically everything there is to know (or that you care to know) about the effect of sugars trapped in leaves. I know, I know, I can visualize your thanks even as this is being typed.

Actually, starting today, for the first time in a long time, for the next few weeks there will be sort of a break in the action regarding writing activities. Taking Command was released to the world on September 2nd and far as I can tell it is off to a pretty good start. Publicity actions regarding The YouTube Candidate continue as a work in progress. On September 28, I enjoyed being part of an Authors Fair at Crete, Nebraska, (a modest sized town about 25 miles from here). The crowd was not large in size but very interested and there was excellent author representation – children’s books, kid-lit, rom-com, fiction, fantasy, politics, Nebraska sports, and others. I enjoyed the conversations and trading writing and publishing anecdotes back and forth during the course of the day. The fair was held at the Community Center, an attachment to the city library. The library staff, the arrangements, the set-up, and the obvious care and thoughtfulness that went into the preparation were the best that I have experienced. Marvelously done.

And the library itself – WOW! I have been to a few libraries around the world -- this one ranks at the top. The exterior walls on three sides are glass, so there is a marvelous light, airy feel to the building (single story). Multiple conference rooms, and reading areas, all excellently provisioned; an exceptional area for children -- really world class. Crete, Nebraska – who’d have thought? One neat feature that dazzled both Nita and me: a double reading room set against an exterior glass wall. The room is bisected by a floor to ceiling glass fire place; each of the areas has A-List quality sofas and padded chairs. I told Nita that maybe we should consider moving to Crete this winter so we can read by the fireplace and watch as the snow falls outside the glass wall. 😊

The facility adjoins a small circular park ringed with benches conducive –if a patron is so inclined – to reading outside. The building is five years old. The library was just getting launched when COVID hit. The initial worries about possibly having to shut down or lay off staff were resolved in a marvelous way – the staff launched a drive-up service. Readers phoned the library and identified the books or type of books they were interested in. The library staff met them at a convenient door or window and passed the books to them. Instead of having to shut down or lay people off, the place actually thrived during the epidemic. Oh, another neat thing is that they discontinued library cards. If you want a book, just check it out. It seems to be working well.

In the absence of the usual writing news, I really didn’t intend to turn this into an Architectural Digest piece, but it really was a special place – and the people that work there are extraordinary.

Anyway, unless surprises emerge, the next few weeks should be fairly quiet writing-wise. On November 19, my friend, fellow writer, and ofttimes editor, Jeanne Kern, and I are scheduled to handle a class for the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute at the University of Nebraska. It is scheduled as a 90-minute session, with each of us slated for half of that. My plan, though, (which I have not yet confided to Jeanne) is to let her do the whole thing while I sit quietly and smile sagely as she takes all the questions…

So, to wrap things up, the fall season in Nebraska is off to a good start. As I progress further into the sunset years, I have increasingly become a fan of sunrises. This time of year often brings special ones and over the past few days there have indeed been some beauties. The cat and I have enjoyed them immensely. A cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll make them even better. (The cat’s preference changes daily.)

And now, for that controversial and much maligned feature: TRULY AWFUL PUNS

A termite walks into a bar and asks “Is the bar tender here?”

I submitted ten puns to a contest, hoping that one would win the grand prize. No pun in ten did.

Best wishes,
TOM

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