Merry Christmas, everyone.
Just a short note to wish you well for the holidays and share the latest small bit of writing news. (Followed by a truly awful poem.)
This update will be rather brief because: (1) there is not a lot of writing news; (2) my mission – which I have chosen to accept (I really had no other choice) – is to get the Christmas material out of the storage closet and help decorate the exterior of the house. I have learned over the years that there is no point in discussing this tasking or complaining about a sore back or remembering an important errand that I had to run. It is best just to get on with it and accept without complaint the numerous orders and instructions and reminders that I will receive during the installation process. Purple hearts have been awarded for less abuse.
The most interesting piece of writing news is that the University of Nebraska is introducing a new magazine. Silver Lining will showcase fiction, non-fiction, poetry, and other art forms in a publication whose inaugural issue is slated for some time later this month. The nice lady who operates the Chapters & Books bookstore in Seward, Nebraska, mentioned the new magazine in a recent email. Travel commitments and other writing obligations prevented me from sending in an early submission; the magazine deadline was almost at hand before I was able to get a short fiction story to them. The entry barely squeaked in under the wire. The interesting thing now is that the story is apparently being considered for placement in the first issue. It would be a special treat to be part of the first one. As usual, there are no guarantees at this point. We’ll see what happens.
A second bit of writing news is that the Costco Corporation is now offering the Battlefields of Nebraska book in their Nebraska outlets. That kind of breaks the usual marketing pattern. Now, if Walmart should happen to follow suit that would certainly get it to additional numbers of readers. The second printing of the book is just coming off the press and is being hurried to venders to have it in place for holiday sales. Hope it will all work out.
Well, I had to take an extended break to help hang garlands and lights and place ornaments around the garage and the exposed side of the house. Also wooden soldiers by the front door. Also Santa Claus and Frosty the Snowman in the space between the house and the entry drive. Also two Christmas cat figures in the front area. Also garlands and candy canes by the sign on the street that leads into the housing area. Also some more stuff out back. This is really serious business. We haven’t even started on the tree yet.
Actually, it is always a very good time and that includes helping with the decorations. (Even though it would have been nice to just to sit in the recliner, cup of coffee in hand, cat on my lap, toasty fire in the fireplace, thinking big thoughts about important issues – like what the schnitzel happened to Nebraska’s football team?) This season of the year, the memories it evokes, the family gatherings that are such a delightful part of it, is always special in so many ways. We are looking forward to it. The best time is always being together, sharing good food, good times, and good memories with family and friends. We hope all of you will be part of that. For those who have servicemen and women in distant places, please find a way to hold them close with a note, a call, or small memento.
And now, in response to a diminishing number of requests – the reason for any request for it is absolutely unfathomable to me – is this month’s entry in the WHO SAYS THEY DON’T WRITE GREAT POETRY ANYMORE section. Please enjoy (‘enjoy’ might not be the right word) the holiday poem that follows below, The original version took days, well okay, hours, well okay, several minutes, to compose.
THE TWELVE DAZE OF CHRISTMAS
The first daze of Christmas
I was zipping along
Enjoying the action
When I fell off the sled
And spent two weeks in traction.
The second daze of Christmas
I fell off the ladder
while trimming the tree.
I had arthroscopic surgery
On my lower left knee.
The third daze of Christmas
I blew a fuse
While stringing the lights,
So we’ve been without power
For two or three nights.
The fourth daze of Christmas
I sounded so bad
Singing Silent Night
Several carolers came over
And started a fight.
The fifth daze of Christmas
I slipped on some ice
On the way to the mall.
Med techs revived me
After a 9 1 1 call.
The sixth daze of Christmas
The hammer head flew off
While I has hanging the wreath,
So I’ve had dental work done
On three of my teeth.
The seventh daze of Christmas
My wife maxed out
every credit card;
Now I don’t let her go anywhere
Except under guard.
The eighth daze of Christmas
I blew out an attic window with
my brand new snow blower.
I should have set the spout
Quite a bit lower.
The ninth daze of Christmas
It was thirty below
When my battery died.
We’ve been eating oatmeal
While we’re penned up inside.
The tenth daze of Christmas
Just when things were looking up
And I thought we might get through this yet,
The cat swallowed an ornament
And had to be taken to the vet.
The eleventh daze of Christmas
I tried to drown my troubles
In some truly serious egg nog:
I broke my nose and several toes
When I tripped on a fireplace log.
The twelfth daze of Christmas
You probably won’t hear from me
This holiday season.
I’ll be going through rehab
So that is the reason.
/////
Best wishes to all for a joyous holiday season and a healthy, prosperous New Year.
Tom Phillips
Just a short note to wish you well for the holidays and share the latest small bit of writing news. (Followed by a truly awful poem.)
This update will be rather brief because: (1) there is not a lot of writing news; (2) my mission – which I have chosen to accept (I really had no other choice) – is to get the Christmas material out of the storage closet and help decorate the exterior of the house. I have learned over the years that there is no point in discussing this tasking or complaining about a sore back or remembering an important errand that I had to run. It is best just to get on with it and accept without complaint the numerous orders and instructions and reminders that I will receive during the installation process. Purple hearts have been awarded for less abuse.
The most interesting piece of writing news is that the University of Nebraska is introducing a new magazine. Silver Lining will showcase fiction, non-fiction, poetry, and other art forms in a publication whose inaugural issue is slated for some time later this month. The nice lady who operates the Chapters & Books bookstore in Seward, Nebraska, mentioned the new magazine in a recent email. Travel commitments and other writing obligations prevented me from sending in an early submission; the magazine deadline was almost at hand before I was able to get a short fiction story to them. The entry barely squeaked in under the wire. The interesting thing now is that the story is apparently being considered for placement in the first issue. It would be a special treat to be part of the first one. As usual, there are no guarantees at this point. We’ll see what happens.
A second bit of writing news is that the Costco Corporation is now offering the Battlefields of Nebraska book in their Nebraska outlets. That kind of breaks the usual marketing pattern. Now, if Walmart should happen to follow suit that would certainly get it to additional numbers of readers. The second printing of the book is just coming off the press and is being hurried to venders to have it in place for holiday sales. Hope it will all work out.
Well, I had to take an extended break to help hang garlands and lights and place ornaments around the garage and the exposed side of the house. Also wooden soldiers by the front door. Also Santa Claus and Frosty the Snowman in the space between the house and the entry drive. Also two Christmas cat figures in the front area. Also garlands and candy canes by the sign on the street that leads into the housing area. Also some more stuff out back. This is really serious business. We haven’t even started on the tree yet.
Actually, it is always a very good time and that includes helping with the decorations. (Even though it would have been nice to just to sit in the recliner, cup of coffee in hand, cat on my lap, toasty fire in the fireplace, thinking big thoughts about important issues – like what the schnitzel happened to Nebraska’s football team?) This season of the year, the memories it evokes, the family gatherings that are such a delightful part of it, is always special in so many ways. We are looking forward to it. The best time is always being together, sharing good food, good times, and good memories with family and friends. We hope all of you will be part of that. For those who have servicemen and women in distant places, please find a way to hold them close with a note, a call, or small memento.
And now, in response to a diminishing number of requests – the reason for any request for it is absolutely unfathomable to me – is this month’s entry in the WHO SAYS THEY DON’T WRITE GREAT POETRY ANYMORE section. Please enjoy (‘enjoy’ might not be the right word) the holiday poem that follows below, The original version took days, well okay, hours, well okay, several minutes, to compose.
THE TWELVE DAZE OF CHRISTMAS
The first daze of Christmas
I was zipping along
Enjoying the action
When I fell off the sled
And spent two weeks in traction.
The second daze of Christmas
I fell off the ladder
while trimming the tree.
I had arthroscopic surgery
On my lower left knee.
The third daze of Christmas
I blew a fuse
While stringing the lights,
So we’ve been without power
For two or three nights.
The fourth daze of Christmas
I sounded so bad
Singing Silent Night
Several carolers came over
And started a fight.
The fifth daze of Christmas
I slipped on some ice
On the way to the mall.
Med techs revived me
After a 9 1 1 call.
The sixth daze of Christmas
The hammer head flew off
While I has hanging the wreath,
So I’ve had dental work done
On three of my teeth.
The seventh daze of Christmas
My wife maxed out
every credit card;
Now I don’t let her go anywhere
Except under guard.
The eighth daze of Christmas
I blew out an attic window with
my brand new snow blower.
I should have set the spout
Quite a bit lower.
The ninth daze of Christmas
It was thirty below
When my battery died.
We’ve been eating oatmeal
While we’re penned up inside.
The tenth daze of Christmas
Just when things were looking up
And I thought we might get through this yet,
The cat swallowed an ornament
And had to be taken to the vet.
The eleventh daze of Christmas
I tried to drown my troubles
In some truly serious egg nog:
I broke my nose and several toes
When I tripped on a fireplace log.
The twelfth daze of Christmas
You probably won’t hear from me
This holiday season.
I’ll be going through rehab
So that is the reason.
/////
Best wishes to all for a joyous holiday season and a healthy, prosperous New Year.
Tom Phillips
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