I am pretty sure that the publishing company that is handling the fiction manuscript is taking lessons in speed and efficiency from the U.S. Congress. There is no recent news to report on the status of the book or its possible timeline for release. So … in the absence of meaningful things to share with you, these few words and the puns that follow will have to suffice. (Along, of course, with the very best wishes for the holiday season and all the days beyond.)
TRULY AWFUL PUNS
What do you call a child who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus.
What kind of cars do Santa’s elves drive?
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing. It was on the house.
What do you get if you eat the Christmas decorations?
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve.
These are so bad that by popular demand I had to include some fan favorites from years past – a few Top Ten Elf Pickup Lines from the David Letterman show.
I can get you off the Naughty List.
Just because I have bells on my shoes doesn’t mean I’m a sissy.
I have certain needs that can’t be satisfied by working on toys.
Thanks to everyone for your interest in the website. I hope these few lines will bring a smile to start this very special time of year.
Best wishes, always